This was actually for my English class. It was begging the question, "What is an experience in your life that grew your faith, and conquered fear while also freeing you?" Made me really think about some things in my life.
Music has always been a big part of my life. I've loved singing since I was toddler. I would run around the house singing praise and worship songs at the top of my lungs. It didn't matter where I was, if I had a song on my brain, I would most likely be belting it out.
As I got older, however I became really timid, especially with singing. I can't really explain what was holding me back, it was like this invisible lid on my pipes. I could no longer sing in public without a nagging fear that someone would hear me and think I was bad. Or worse, actually think I was good and then I'd have to do it in public more often. This was my line of reasoning. It went on this way for a while till I was about thirteen and the youth leader asked me if I could play the piano and sing on the worship team. I was horrified! How did he know that I could sing? My parents caught wind of it and asked me what I wanted to do about it. I said I didn't want to join of course. They said they would pray about it and that I should to. The next couple of days, my parents were saying that I had to join for a year just to at least be doing something at church and to use the talent God had given me for His glory. I was frustrated but mostly fearful when I heard this. I reluctantly agreed.
Being on the worship team was hard at first, but as I began to step out more and more I learned that I loved glorifying God in this way and that He had gifted with me something that I shouldn't hide. I ended up staying on the team all through High School and gradually God began to give me more and more until I was given the position of worship leader in the children's ministry.
I know that without stepping by faith into that position, I would've never experienced the freedom I have now in that area of my life. I have learned through my fear to give every thing I have to the Lord and that He will take care of you when you think you have nothing to offer. He was growing me and stretching my faith to prepare me for what I am doing now and also for what I hope to do with this gift in the future. I am definitely free because of my faith. I know that the Lord gives confidence and strength when you feel like you can't break free from fear.
I'm really proud of you for this :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the musical frustrations, as you know... and you are amazingly talented. I'd have to side with your parents... without your harmonies beside me whenever we are worshiping, it wouldn't quite be the same.
I love you, girl.